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The Ups and Downs January 10, 2008

Posted by makinitwork in BiPolar Resources, Marrige, Mental Health.

I first just want to say how sorry I am for not checking back on my blog. For those of you that have found me and are going through the same tough times, all I can say is that sometimes, with a BP spouse you have to go with the flow.

My husband has been off of his medication for about 4 months now and we have had some pretty big ups and downs. To add to the stress, we moved our family, I got a new job, and we just found out that my husband is also very sick. Life has a funny way of throwing things at you. There are some days where I just want to stop the train and get off. Most of the time though, I just try to be as supportive as possible and keep my eyes open for the triggers. I try not to push any buttons and just “go with the flow”. Not always the smartest idea but I have not found any other way to cope.

It is encouraging to see so many replies to my posts. It helps to know that I am not alone although if your spouse is anything like mine, you are not sharing this information. As to whether or not to stay with someone who is BiPolar, I can’t make that decision for you. God knows it is a very long road and if you choose to stay the path, the end result CAN be very rewarding but, and it is a very large but, you have to be able to make it work, the largest burden will fall on you. Your BiPolar spouse has their own internal problems to deal with, you have to be able to suck it up, hold it together, and stay strong.


The Things I have Learned July 16, 2007

Posted by makinitwork in Marrige, Mental Health, Relationships.

That may not be the best title for what I am about to write, but the truth is, I have learned much over the past 13 years, but still sometimes feel like I do not even know my own husband. If you have been following this blog in any way, then you know, my husband is currently off of his meds. This is never a good thing for someone who is BiPolar. And, when they are BiPolar and also suffer from mania and depression, it can be even worse. At this point, every fight we have, and there are many, ends up with his yelling that I am trying to sedate him with medication, and I am the problem, not the BiPolar disorder. (more…)

Little Steps July 9, 2007

Posted by makinitwork in Marrige, Mental Health.
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Sometimes I think you have to take life in little steps. Nothing can be accomplished with huge hops.

We were just about to start working with a new therapist. Actually scheduled two seperate appointments. Of course we didn’t make either. There is always some reason that he can’t get to the appointment. Usually, it is the time the appointment is scheduled. In this case, it was too late “who want’s to go and think about this crap after work?”. The second appointment was cancelled because it was too early “can’t make it, meeting ran late”. Now, this psychologist doesn’t want me to schedule the appointment. He wants my husband to call him directly, that way he can tell that he is commited to the idea of seeing someone. This means I should probably start looking for someone else. (more…)

The Return of Dr. Hyde March 6, 2007

Posted by makinitwork in Marrige, Mental Health, Relationships, Triggers.

Life is never easy. And living with a Bipolar spouse can be an extremely tough challenge. My husband has been on his new medication for about 2 weeks now and I am beginning to wonder when this mood stabilizer is going to kick in.

I expected by now that I would have seen a change is his behaviour.  Unfortunately, I have not. I went around the Internet world and found that a lot of what people are saying out there is that Lamactil takes time to work but, once it starts working, it works well.


New Dr, New Drugs February 24, 2007

Posted by makinitwork in Marrige, Mental Health, Relationships, Triggers.
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Psychatrists are a tough group. From my prospective, they seem to be either really involved in your treatment or really uninvolved and more interested in pushing pills.

My husband went off his medication again and decided that he needed a new psychiatrist. While this is nothing new, finding the right doctor is no easy feat. We have a good insurance plan so I do have options, but Bipolar people are picky and not easily pleased.

After doing a little research, I located a doctor I hoped would be compatible, scheduled the appointment and kept my fingers crossed. I ended up having to reschedule the first appointment and really had to push him to make it to the second. We finally ended up at the Drs, me and the kids waiting in the car for about an hour. (more…)

On again, Off Again January 24, 2007

Posted by makinitwork in Marrige, Mental Health.
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Well, we made it through Christmas and New Years. It was a pretty quiet holiday season for us this year and for that I am thankful. Hopefully, 2007 will only bring health, happiness and a little sanity to our crazy lives.

Like most people that suffer from bipolar disorder, my husband hates large groups. We do not attend many company functions, parties or even go window shopping at the mall. Yes, we go shopping, but there is always a purpose and as he likes to say “there is a 3 store limit”.  I plan my weekend time accordingly and sometimes end up running out with the kids by myself to complete my tasks.

People are funny. Sometimes you can be really involved with them and then later realize they weren’t the friend or confidant you thought they were. I have learned this from my husband, most people cannot be trusted. I know it seems like a cynical way to look at the world, but I have been stepped on and thrown under every bus imaginable. Every time I think I have made a good friend, well you know where I am going with this. 

So, back to where I was headed with this post. We made it through the holidays and Happy New Year 2007. I have big plans for this year and God willing I will accomplish them.

Resolutions are a tough group. Many people make them but most don’t keep them. My husband and I have both resolved to work harder on our relationship this year, to be better parents, and to give back whenever we can.

With that said, I am off to get the kids up and get ready for work. Catch you later…

He can’t tell time November 29, 2006

Posted by makinitwork in Marrige, Mental Health, Relationships.

Sometimes, it seems my husband can’t tell time. “It takes you forever to do anything”! That is his favorite saying. In my mind I accomplished a lot in a short amount of time. Our clocks are just different. 

I run to the grocery store and back and he complains that I was gone for hours. I run across the street to the local gas/deli and upon my return I am undoubtly questioned as to where I have been, who I was meeting. I try to tell myself, this is a part of his disease but maybe it is more a part of who he is?? 

If I go to the grocery store, usually I have the kids with me. It takes more time to get around with kids then if you are by yourself just running in to a store. Also, I have to think more about what I am getting. I have lived the last 15 years worrying about upsetting him. Not buying the right bread, forgetting to pick up his beer while I am out, there is a lot of stress being married to a bipolar person. I am constantly reminded of his triggers and do my best to not flip the switch. (more…)